Helen’s reawakening

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Helen’s reawakening
Her illness had caused intense abdominal pain; the gynaecologist had been gentle in her examination and in breaking news of the need for total hysterectomy and at 26 she had felt devastated. She had hopes of marriage and c***dren and these were now removed. The familiar monthly cycle was taken from her life, the scar tissue was visible largely carved across her, neatly done but in her eyes disfiguring her.
Her female colleagues had been supportive her boyfriend had backed away in the knowledge she could not conceive. She was distressed by the loss of hope and the commitment she had hoped from one carefully selected man. She felt damaged physically and mentally and deep inside no words of comfort reached her loss, loneliness and despair.
Her gynaecologist had told her she would need time to physically heal and that the tightness and discomfort might withold sexual sensation for some time but that she would feel excitement again. Her sexual excitement had grown in her twenties and she had passed from virginity to eagerness and willingness to allow him to touch and enter her. He had been gentle,considerate,responsive to her wish for power and then easing off to prolong her pleasure. He had been gentle in asking her to take him in her mouth and play and had allowed her to watch him and touch and explore him he liked her to do this and bring him to full throbbing, swollen thickness.
This was now removed, the physical warmth of another human and the intriguing masculinity were absent from life. She cried and became depressed worried about weight gain and unattractiveness. She was able to return to work and draw upon female friends to help her spend time together. She travelled but had to adapt to covering up her body and the scarring which was much deeper than her skin.
She had not felt aroused for over a year now she felt as though she was dead below her waist and asked her counsellor and gynaecologist if this was normal. They had supported her and she knew that she would have return of some sort of womanhood although she viewed with scepticism in her melancholic isolation that she would ever return to that warm pleasant and happy feminine sexual being she had gradually blossomed to fulfil.
She had no male company that replicated the potential and no desire to seek it. She was lost in her work. One day at work one of her female colleagues mentioned how excited she had been the night before and how excited she felt that day. “What happened to you?” To her amazement the reply came in the discovery of a web site and curiousity on the part of her colleague. “I found that I could watch men live showing themselves and I was so excited by it all, I watched for hours” she giggled,leaving the rest to imagination.
This had never occurred to either woman before and they giggled about it. With the knowledge that in anonymity she could at least watch in privacy there was a potentially secret world of sex open to her.
Months passed with much laughter at descriptions of size, some curvature and the merits of male circumsion but the shared knowledge that intense and prolonged excitement was being achieved by a friend.
There was an inevitability that the anonymous online sex might be explored. Her friend explained the mechanics of the site and the ability to protect who communicated, then showed her some men online that were linked. So she knew where to go and how to present herself; did she want to do this? To her surprise she awoke one Saturday morning and felt herself aroused; sitting on the toilet she looked at the wet crotch of her panties and realised she felt in real need of sex for the first time in years.
She went to her computer and nervously she entered and registered, set up an account where no one could see her at first and then she looked as she had been shown by her friend. She found several possible men to choose from and looked at her first live man. He was touching himself; his face was not visible and other men and women were typing messages to him. She watched him masturbating and became increasingly curious and aroused. She longed to see him come and she was excited enough watching to start to touch her breasts and then her vagina. He ejaculated and she was excited now to have not one but three orgams of her own. This was strange, a completely random stranger masturbating had unlocked her sexually without knowing it!
Her excitement was maintained during the day and she returned that afternoon in her bedroom for an afternoon nap and became a visitor to 3 men each different who gave her similar pleasure, but now she was quick and eager to come and she did so for longer. She slept afterwards longer than she imagined and nearly missed her drink with the girls and meal. She was glowing and blushing a little, she felt she had to share her secret. There was laughter and shared joy that she had returned from darkness into something lively and exciting and what if the hugs and cuddles were feminine; they were affectionate and warm and Helen had a number of men to play with that night…

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