My Story-Part I

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My Story-Part I
My Name is Ghadah, I am trans passed through several stages of transformation starting with crossdressing, sissiness and feminine hormones till I achieved to what I am today, I try to recount my story to you and you are free to say your comments and judgements, Present to you My Story-Part I:

I was a normal boy raised in a very rich tribal family, among a Father, a Mother and 4 Sisters, I am the youngest one of my siblings that’s why I was very spoiled especially I was raised in a family most of them are females.

My mother and my sisters were responsible for me since I was a baby, they were surrounding me all time, taking care about me, nurturing me, spoiling me and playing with me.

And because I was born among that feminine community, I was being treated as a girl not a boy even got totally feminized, dressed girly, called cutie girl and spoiled all time as a little girl.

The growing up among the females impacted completely in my personality and made me soft, sensitive and even made me closer to girls than boys.

I was very effeminate and got a feminine mentality that totally refusing myself as a boy and insisting me to be a cute girl like my mother and my sisters who affected on me completely even I was imitating them continuously till the girly character totally dominated me and all my behaviors.

But by time and with continuous growth, all things are changing, I found myself forced to be a boy to deal with people but In my mind the thought of I am a girl got kept with no changes, I always hated to wear boys clothes and pretending who’s not really me and I would want to be a girl and dress girly in real instead of that but I could not confess about that in real life because it is very strict and conservative in Arab countries, that’s why I was wearing the clothes of my mother and my sisters surreptitiously plus sometimes I was trying to put make up randomly and acting girly trying barely to enjoy myself as a cute girl.

During that, My mother had a strange habit, She was insisting to put me to the bed in noon time without a clear reason and she was making ensure that I felt sleep deeply, One day I heard voices coming from outside and I was curious to know who’s outside if my father back or what, I came out of my room and I tried to check stealthily who’s outside, I found my mother with a strange man hosting him, I kept watching them to know what’s going on, I watched her and talking with him and I couldn’t hear them clearly to know what they were saying, then Suddenly I found my mother inviting him to her bedroom then the door locked, I stepped cautiously toward the bedroom and started hearing sounds of hums, moaning, shouting, slapping, screaming and laughing, I was very curious about what’s happening inside and I didn’t understand why those sounds coming from the bedroom after the entrance of my mother and her guest, I was very worried about my mother and I was wondering if my mother in danger and I had to call my father or the police or what exactly, I stepped back to my room and I did not know what I should do, all of that and the time was going and the sounds increasing, I was very frightened and helpless to do anything and started to put my hand on my ears not to hear anything.
after 4 hours, I heard my mother came out the room, I run to take a gander from behind my room door and watched her happy, laughing and kissing her guest guiding him to the door to good bye him, I was very confused and very curious about what’s happened.
I run back to my room and acted like I was sleeping till my mother had not found out that I was waking up, and after while I found my mother came in to check on me if I was still sleeping then went out leaving me with the thoughts about what happened inside her bedroom eating my head.

After that, I was afraid to ask her about what happened not to punish me, and I could not to tell my father about what happened, that’s why I decided to figure out by my own self, however I was still 9 years old only.

Every day, at noon time, I was acting sleeping to check what would happen next and I noticed that many strange men going about our house in my father absence, and my mother let them in, hosting them then inviting them to her bedroom, locking the door and sounds raising and I was trying to sleep not to hear those sounds but the curiosity was never let me and kept insisting on me and I was helpless with no action only trying to watch.
And the end of every time, I was finding my mother coming out happy and smiling kissing their guests guiding them to the door to good bye them, I was really very confused and very curious about what’s happening inside in every time someone coming to our house.

One time, after my mother and her guest entered the bedroom, I decided to dare and step to the room door trying to take a glance through the door lock slot and I really did and here there was the big shock.

I sobbed scared from what I was watching, the strange man was fucking my mother roughly and slapping her and she screaming and moaning and asking him for more and more, I got terrified and run to my room couldn’t understand what happening because I was still young but It was seemed bad…. very bad even horrible….. very horrible.
I was barely breathing and I don’t know what I would do, I tried to relax myself trying to forget what I watched but the sounds were raising and raising loudly I rushed back to see what else happening, and I continue watching.

I found my mother getting beaten, belly dancing, slapped, fucked roughly in all her holes, sucking his cock like a piggy and she was looking very enjoyed and pleasure.

I could not handle that views I was watching, That’s why I returned back to my room confused and scared, not able to understand what I watched and put the pillow on my head not hear anything but the views of what I watched were coming across my eyes even they were closed, I felt like I was in a nightmare that never ends.

Even got worst and I noticed that more than one man coming in one time and entering with my mother to her bedroom using her in all ways they desire like if she were their slave.

And every time, I was feeling like a big pressure on me to get forced to hear and watch my mother in such situations that’re seemed very horrible, however I could not understand what happening yet.

One day, I could not handle that anymore and I thought to leave the house till my mother finished with her guests to release that pressures on me and ignore what happening with my mother, but I got an idea that if I could use that time when my father and my sisters not at home and my mother busy with her guests by dressing my sisters’ clothes and dresses and acting girly comfortably as I always love doing till the guests leave to relax myself and getting busy with something I love but could not do with my family existence.

Really I did not waste any minute and I started to use that time very well in dressing and acting girly after ensuring that my mother totally busy with her guests.

By the time, I became used to what happening especially I was keeping myself busy by being a girl, but my curiosity was getting increased more and more about what happening between my mother and her guests and felt a big desire to get back to watch her and really I got back to watch her through the door lock slot while I dress girly.
At that time, it felt something different, I started to feel weird and i felt myself enjoying watching what happening even it started to look interesting and exciting that made me keep watching more and more.

Suddenly, I started to feel new different inner desires with unfamiliar curiosity and something calling from inside me to try to do that and imitate my mother but that still didn’t exceed being just thoughts in my mind because I was not courageous enough to request such that from anyone, Plus I was feeling with a mixture of confuse, hesitation and I was not sure yet, even I was still terrified from such things and still did not understand about that yet, that’s why I kept that secret inside me same as my girly nature.

………………………………………………………………….To Be Continued…………………………………………………………………………

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