How did I get here?

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How did I get here?
A lot of people ask me how I got here. To be honest, sometimes I wonder that myself, but here is my little snippet about how I discovered my sexuality.

I should start off by saying some of this is really difficult to share. I have lost friends, been labeled weird, even had family members catch on and treat me differently. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been referred to as “the wild one” by family members, and it hasn’t always felt endearing. Despite this, I have grown a Fuck IT mentality, where other peoples opinions mean very little. Sometimes its hard, I worry about being judged as much as the next girl, but overall – I have chosen to live my life in my own lane.

I met my fiance in middle school. Adorable I know. We had the same group of friends and always seemed to find each other at the same parties. Once we got to high school we started to fool around. “Dating” according to our friends, but we were always more vested in the blowjob behind the baseball field – or that fingering session under my parents deck that still gives me chills. We explored all things sex together, sharing firsts and learning little tricks along the way. I loved it, but there was something missing sexually for me. We went off to college and stayed in touch. Breaks from school would consist of seeing him, well, as much as you can see someone when you’re getting fucked in the backseat of a civic. That missing piece got larger, I was in a sex only relationship. I knew it was kind of the agreement, but it didn’t help much. Something was still missing and I felt lost from it.

I knew from friends that went to the same college as him that he was messing around with other girls. I truly didn’t care, I had my own stints on more than one occasion. As long as I came home to a familiar face and that steamy civic I really couldn’t care less. Him though. He did not know about my other sexcapades. He thought he was the only one.

You see I left this one part out. On one drunken night my sophomore year I discovered something that fulfilled the void I felt sexually. In a bathtub with my friends drunken roommate, I had the most tantalizing, shriek inducing orgasm I had ever experienced, with another girl. When I tell you shriek inducing, I mean my neighbors knocked on the door to check on me. They were a bit surprised when I answered the door wrapped in the same towel as another girl.

Fast forward passed very awkward semester with my neighbors, to when my longtime fuck buddy finds out. He was lost! I imagine he felt like less of a man in some dimension, but I told him how much I LOVED it. I told him I was bisexual, he did not take it too well. He really didn’t understand at first. “Yes I like your penis and I like vagina” only gets you so far. Your partner needs to REALLY accept it for what it is. So we grew apart. I continued my experiments. Met a wonderful woman, I was 21 at the time and she was 42 and married. She was living a similar story, but sleeping next to a man who really didn’t want to understand. Thinking about what a nightmare it would have been if I didn’t continue to pursue my sexuality at this age was put on display. Stuck in a marriage, and trapped in sex you don’t fully enjoy. I had a new found appreciation for myself. She taught me so much. Sexually and about life. I started to learn how the more you open up to sex, the more deviant you become. Being open to other girls led to being open to couples. Which led to threesomes. Which led to a whole house party. Which led to BDSM.The list really goes on and on. (CD’s are my next fantasy).

Randomly one night at 3 in the morning. The classic “you up” text comes in from a familiar man. Boy did I jump on that. I am not k**ding you when I say I actually forgot to put on shoes. The sex was so underwhelming! I still make fun of him about it to this day. But I really didn’t care. I was having so much fun living out my sexual dreams that I forgot about the companionship element. Sometimes a familiar touch is all you really need to spark something in your heart. We had a long talk that night and the next morning. He shared his concerns and I shared mine. We have been together since.

I have left quite a bit out here, this got way longer than I thought. Moving on from that night had its ups and downs. It took years really. He had his own sexual epiphanies over a few years time. He slowly grew comfortable with me being with one girl, then a few, then couples. None of this happened overnight. But the important take away is – I was lucky enough to discovery myself at a young age. And I am still discovering.

There are so many more stories in-between these paragraphs. I set a goal to write about them little by little. I may have left more questions open by writing this lol whoops. If you are interested in more or have any questions please reach out! I am thinking I will do this monthly.

Until next time XOXO

Ben Esra telefonda seni boşaltmamı ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32

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