Helping My brother Ch. 03

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Helping My brother Ch. 03
This story follows a chapter 1 and chapter 2, which I would recommend reading first.

Back to Reality

I am in a relationship with my brother.

Sitting in the passenger seat as we head back home from the best sex in my life, looking out the window watching the trees go by. Everything seems so verdant and green. My body zinging as I sit here.

Back to the real world and I look over, he is looking straight ahead; one of the most beautiful men I have ever looked at. And no one can ever know the butterflies I feel; or, how when we look at each other – no matter what – it will never be the same. So, here I am, ‘helping my brother.’ My brother. There is no book called The Joy of i****t. So, how did I get here? I mean it has been completely consensual, I offered, he accepted. I have always loved my brother, that does not change and it never will. The physical is like this bonus – it does not feel wrong, at this moment it just doesn’t; and, I won’t downplay the physical, but it is pure romance and love.

I feel like I have entered a rarefied world. I feel like we have become the oldest of old lovers. Forbidden love, and now I begin to understand. We will go home, live our lives, have our worries and cares, work, all of it. And create this false wall at the back of our hearts, where we can go and no one else. How do I feel about THAT? Something so intimately a part of me, to cut it out and bury it down inside. This will be on the fucking tip of my tongue forever more, my whole body feels it, feels him. I look at my legs and think this will not be easy.

It’s not for everyone. HA! It’s not supposed to be for anyone. I take Nick’s hand for a moment, give it a squeeze let go.

He smiles, “You all right?”


Look to the window again, he’s thinking all the same things.


Home Again

Nick drops me off at the house, I take my bag of things from the back seat. I want to lean in and kiss him on the lips and thank him for the best weekend of my life, tell him how changed I am. How beautiful he is, what a man he is, how fucking sore I am. I want to do a cartwheel into the yard.

Instead, I say again, “Thanks,” and turn away.

Awww, Fuck it.

I look at the house, no car in the driveway, no movement anywhere. I turn back to the truck, open the door and shielding myself there stand on the sideboard to give him a soft lingering kiss, one hand on each cheek. “That’s for a nice weekend,” saying it as sexy as I can between kisses. It’s so cute, that one moment burned in my memory, standing there in my little summer dress, blond hair fallen down my back, like a first date, all tingling and happy. Nervous as hell, still not wanting things to end.

He says, “It was nice wasn’t it?” We have this lingering moment of silence, my eyes on him as he continues, “Can I ….” pausing at the ridiculousness of it. He’s my brother for Christ sake. He starts again, and our minds are connected, “Can I, see you sometime this week?” A date, a tryst, a fuck, a coffee. It all runs through my mind.

“I don’t think so, not this week.” He has his hand pressed to my tummy, rubbing me there over my dress, as I twist my hands together, wanting to get to yes. Still standing there on the sideboard. “I got a lot of things to catch up on. I can’t even remember my k**s camp schedule.” [did I just fucking say that] and I pause and recover, “I’ll call you in a few days. K?” It comes out wrong, but suddenly I’m tired and just need time to myself as I step back away from his touch, back onto the ground and close the door. I feel small and vulnerable.

“It was great,” he says through the window. Smiles his smile at me, and his teeth take on a whole new meaning, as he rolls his window up and is gone.

Is there ANYONE I could tell this to? No. But, hell, it’s not like I go around talking about my sex life with my husband.


At least everyone in my life knows I ‘do it’ with him. I laugh to myself as I trudge to the house. Hell, they all think Nick is ‘doing it’ with Suzanne.

Then I notice sounds from the house. Fuck.

I realize they are home, and have the first little mini panic at the riskiness of what we had just done.

I can hear the k**s before I get to the door and shake my head.

Mixed between, I will never do it again and when-and-where can we go to be alone and do it again, is the constant – No One Can Ever Know. I will lie, baldfaced lie to ever let anyone know, to ever hurt Nick, or my family, or my/our life. Is there a price for sin? Do we pay for our sins? The crazy thing is I never once felt guilty. Until, this moment, I am looking at my two little ones throwing their arms around me calling “Mommy!!”

God will sort it all out later.

Right now, I just have to live my life. I ask the k**s and they tell me Dad is home. Fuck, he was home too?

I have dinner and groceries, and Dave is somewhere in the house. This moment of, did he see? Calculating angles from the upstairs windows. It will be like this now. I am thinking of my husband – finally – and I suddenly miss him and want to feel him, kiss him, smell him. I feel a momentary twang thinking how we will probably have sex tonight and how fucking sore I am.

I put a hand to my head. I go to our room ostensibly to find Dave, but close the door, set down my bags open them quickly and throw all the nighties, bikinis, underthings covered in cum and my sex scent, into the laundry – bottom of the pile. Hide us. I feel like I still smell like a fucking feral cat. And sit down on the bed. Mine and Dave’s bed, run my hand over the cover. What is this? I imagine myself laying naked with Nick. THAT can never happen, not in THIS bed. But I cannot get the image of him out of my mind. The night demon. It is probably what I will call him.

I pick up my diary flip to this weeks page and write, ‘Had a great time fishing with Nick’ and I pause to look at it. I can’t even be true to my diary anymore. To the right I draw a little image, a fishing pole, and suggestive looking little fish. My hairy little blonde fish. I sigh. A secret code for myself, in my own diary.

Diaries are made to be read by others.

I can’t allow that to happen.


First Time

I finally find Dave and learn my little new world of secrets will be tested sooner than I realized. Suzanne had called and wants us all to get together this week. Dave agreed to Thursday, four days away! I pause, of course it will be fine.

The week is a blur, and it is not like I thought of it every moment of every day. No, it was more like every five minutes of every half hour of every day. And when Thursday arrives, I feel this twinge, an ache, desire. A wanting I had never felt before. All hidden away. They arrive, and HE walks in with Suzanne, his hand at the middle of her back. Such a cute couple! Normal, utterly fucking normal. Postcard normal: k**s, mommy, daddy.

I had on a nice summer dress, honestly, I picked it out for him. I also made damn sure I looked good, really really good.

His eyes meet mine, and fuck, I melt. Melt into those eyes and quirk a smile at him. Full of hidden meaning. My cheeks grow warm and that is what we share. Seconds of desire, knowing desire, wanting. Wishing a finger snap could freeze the world. I turn, walk into the house behind them and more than anything I want to be with him, I’ll be honest, it was a kick in the gut.

This was all in my heart, my brain, my stomach, every invisible piece of me. To everyone else we very much acted normally as ever before. After ten minutes, it was not even difficult. It was only the beginning, to get the ball rolling, and the moment the wheel began to turn it just continued. Deception is easy. My brother and I have a lifetime of being close, as a brother and sister, we have always been with one another, done things together. We know each other better than anyone in our life. In fact, we will have a million opportunities to ….and I close down the thought as I feel a wetness grow between my legs. Not now! I glance his way, notice his easy smile, his grace, his ease. It all snaps into place, and I breath a little easier.

But in the midst of all this normality, wondering, almost as if: Did it ever happen at all? It all begins to feel like a dream. And in snaps a little piece of guilt, with a mild determination to pretend it never did.

What the hell is he thinking?

Is it: I don’t fuck my wife, I fuck my sister now??

I am in the kitchen, with Suzanne, and Nick walks in, pauses, stands by me. ME. I feel him at my hip.

I turn slightly, acknowledging his presence. I know he intended to come in here and catch me alone.

As coolly as I can manage, lift my eyes to him, “What do you want?” I wanted to lean back against him, touch him, smell, brush against him. Reassure myself. I mean it has been four days since we have been ‘together.’ I look back, and those eyes say it all.

“Just seeing what you two beautiful girls are fixing.” Though he says it to me and the whole time his eyes are on me, and the warmth of the gaze, as we shared a truly loving connection. An entire conversation carried on as Suzanne dutifully lists the menu. So, we have this, a world of connection. Anywhere and anytime we are together. Our eyes, secretly so silently acknowledging our secret life, that it is OK, that he wants me. That we will figure things out, that we are in this together, that we are in Love. All occurring in this whirlwind of motion. Like it CAN all stop, where WE are the ones frozen in space and time.

While we are together, alone with one another.

I laugh at myself as he pokes his head in two more times, sees his wife and ducks back out.

I KNOW what he is up to, and am enjoying this little game. You fox!

I am his little bird, and he is waiting to find me with my wing down.


Helping in the Pantry

The moment arrives. Well, I sort of give it to him. I needed to get some things down in the pantry in the basement. A room near the garage in our ratty basement that remains unfinished. Just utilities, laundry, boxes of junk, an old freezer and my pantry.

Even as I am walking down the steps I know.

I take my time, walk slowly, hope he is not distracted. Hope he notices. The butterflies in my stomach are churning.

His little bird. I feel so small and feel my fingers tingling. My wing is down. My wing is down. All alone.

This is so wrong, my thoughts are all over the place. If he comes down I think, and a rush of adrenaline hits me, we will be breaking the first rule of our being back. But, then I am thinking he might not notice.

But I am wrong:)

“Hey.” His voice rumbles and he steps out from the darkness.

I am standing right by the freezer, below one of only two windows down here. I did not turn on any lights and there is only the glow of the basement half window above me, giving this light bluish glow. The pantry is back away from the stairs, tucked behind a concrete wall which has a narrow opening to the room. Shall I say isolated?

I don’t move, standing with my back to him. I say, “Hey” back and feel him lay his hand at my hip. I turn my head to the side, and twist it slightly toward where his hand lay and sigh, “This is soon.” I say it so soft. It feels like the boat somehow. The way the light glows, the silence. Like time has stopped. But we are not alone. His fingers curling around the bone of my hip.

“I wanted to see you.”

“You seen me upstairs.” But I know what he means.

“Not what I … I…”

“I know what you mean,” and pause a beat, “So. Here I am.”

I still have my back to him. Feel his presence right up behind me, feel so fucking aroused and his hand moves down, under the hem of my dress and up the bare flesh of my thighs. Oh god! His fingers on my bare skin, it is too much.

I have a moment, a panicking, rational moment. I whisper, “Nick. We have to behave. They are right upstairs.” But I can feel his hand on me, and lean forward, relish in the feel of his touch. Oh, the feel of his fingers brushing up my skin, the tips of his fingers sliding along the inside of my thighs. I am thinking, won’t he be surprised!

“I just want to look at you.” I lean myself further across the chest freezer. Fuck. Everything in my brain says no. I want to say we have to go back upstairs, but I am excited. I have something for my brother. He throws the back of my skirt up over my hips, and I remain there. Surprise! I had nothing, NOTHING, on underneath. Had I thought this might happen? I just wanted the secret pleasure of standing with him bare beneath my dress, to be naked with him even if in secret. I honestly had not intended for anything….oh, and his low groan. His breath, he exhales like the snort of a horse.

“You are a bad girl,” he says low, and I laugh.

“You have to hurry. Have your look.”

Ahhhh, and he does not wait, but cups his hand right over my pussy from behind, the wispy hairs of my puss splaying out from between his fingers. Palming my little peach, so nice and ripe and wet, with his whole hand. Fuck. So juicy! God I am wet. I close my eyes as he grips me tighter, as I begin undulating my hips against it, his middle finger splits me wide open, finding my clit. I love the way he can touch me now, and spread out my legs and lay flat across the top of the white chest, rocking my hips in rhythm with his touch, arching my back and feeling the gush of juices lubricating his hand between my legs. I am giving him a nice show I think. When he takes his hand away again, my head drops and I lose all sense. When nothing is happening, I look back. I see my brother fumbling with his pants! Oh my god!!

“Oh, you have got to be k**ding me,” my voice is strained. “We can’t,” I protest. I can hear his zipper, and his cock poking out of his pants.

“Sara.” It’s all he says. I do nothing, holding myself there, if anything, spreading my legs a bit. Permission. He says nothing more, I don’t move. I feel so hot, flustered. Ready. My mind racing, they will be wondering upstairs.

I feel him moving close and tip my ass up. “Oh, Nicky.” He positions himself and fills me right up. Such a sudden thrust, so big and so hard. Uh, entering me with a jolt. Oh god when it is fast it is so intense. All stretched out. Yes. Filling me in one thrust and lay my head down flat, my mind registering he is inside me. Bracing my hands for it, as he’s pumping into me, fucking, fucking hard. Oh god, fucking my cunt. His chest is leaning down along my back, thrusting and I feel his breath at my ear. This stream of words, “I’ve wanted you so bad, you feel so good. You don’t know what you do to me.” His low rumbling chest, the vibration is amazing. The way his body feels.

All I can do is whimper. “Oh. God. Nicky. Cum in me. Quick. I want to feel it. Fill me.” I can’t think about anything else.

He grabs my hair, oh so wonderful. His fingers wrapped in my hair pulling me back. I am pressing into him so hard, held to him, my head bent back. God how I love that, no one has ever done that to me before and in no time, a breath, he is gushing cum into me, my body is full of him, my mouth open, panting. The ache of my pussy is back, it has been getting a thorough ravaging this week. My tongue is held over my lower lip, feeling each spurt, and then he is slipping out. I am still so fucking horny, I want to cum so bad. I want to roll over and ride him, looking back I can see his cock is still so hard. He is tucking it in and zipping up. I am still laying there obscenely naked, my dress up over my hips.

Oh, we do not have time! I am so fucking aroused and hot, and I want more.

So this is a quickie.

I had never done anything like this before in my life.

I stand on unsteady legs, do not have time to clean up. Brush myself, smooth the fabric, untangle my hair, tuck some loose hairs behind my ear. My ears feel hot and red, my eyes are liquid pools, I feel like the ultimate slut, and lean into him, kiss him languorously. I want to run away. Cum is running down my legs and I let it. Gathering up the boxes and jars, remembering THESE were my reason for being down here in the first place. Handing him a few of the jars.

I grab a tissue on the way through the basement and wipe quickly a bit between my legs and toss the tissue into the laundry basket. Fuck. Nick is following in my wake, realizing how he watched me just then hitching my dress and wiping between my legs. He has seen everything now.

I turn the corner to the stairs, get to the top and Suzanne is there.


The shock of which genuinely startles me. I am staring at her wide eyed feeling as if she can read my mind or see through walls. She knows what we have done!

All she says is, “I was wondering where you got off to?”

“I had to get some things and…” my mind is faltering. I need to get into the bathroom.

Her eyes drift to Nick, he continues, “She couldn’t find a few things, I helped her. Another set of eyes.”

She turns to leave back into the kitchen and I turn to Nick.

Nice lie I think, and say so to him with my eyes. When Suzanne is out of the kitchen I say, “You were very bad,” still smoothing my dress out still naked underneath. And every time he looked at me now he would know that, and I quirk a smile at the thought.

“Dinner will be soon,” I say.

“I’ll tell the others.” And he is gone.

The problem is. I wanted a fuck so bad I couldn’t stand it.

The rest of the evening was going to be torture.

At dinner Nick says to me, “So, should we go out for our usual breakfast this Saturday?”

His eyes pleading, his words nonchalant. SATURDAY! Two days, in two days. Alone together with him. I feel everyone knows what we are doing, what we have done. How can they possibly let us do such an illicit thing? My insides jumping about, and I am so horny. I still want to cum. I can feel the ache of my clit, still feel as if his hands are on me. All these thoughts, invisible. Never mind we have had breakfast together on a regular basis for the past five years.

So while we are together and alone, I say, “Uh, I, I mean….” I am so flustered.

And then Dave says, “Aw, go ahead. Looks like you two keep your weekends for each other. S’fine, I got you all week.”

And I say, “OK,” smiling uneasily.



First Breakfast

Saturday comes and I am up early. No one even gets up, this also is normal. Nick and I are the ones who fish, who boat. We are the ones who rise early in the morning with the sun, who walk in the woods. And I stand at the mirror with butterflies in my stomach, and tremblingly apply a bit of makeup. A little lipstick, a little mascara. Not too much. A yellow dress, a not too subtle reference to my yellow bikini, I think to myself. I’ve pulled on the tiniest pair of panties, and a half cup push up bra. I feel beautiful and sexy. I want him to feel what he felt on Thursday.

Walking downstairs to the car I am thinking: Calm. Calm. This is fine. I take a breath, drive into what will be a waking dream and walk into our usual place, The Summers Egg, and to our usual table where he is already sitting.

Everyone knows us, and I realize we are not alone here either. It is already different than I imagined. We are known everywhere. He is my brother even at the Summers Egg.

I settle in and look across the table, an endless memory. Does not even seem like a memory. He has a coffee in his hand. I feel us, and yes, WE are still alone.

Secrets make you alone wherever you are.

“Sara!” He says it so calm. “I wasn’t sure if you would make it.”

I was going to say, why would that be, but knew better. “Don’t be silly. I can have breakfast with my brother.” And suddenly have no idea what to do with my hands, and pick up the menu which I have memorized for years.
He asks, “So how was your week?”

I look daggers at him, “You mean, besides Thursday!?”

He grins, “I liked your pantry. Never been down there before.”

“Oh, I think you’ve seen MY pantry!” I say sharply. The innuendo is caught. My cheeks glow at the memory. I sigh, “You did leave me a bit….unfinished,” saying it as quiet as I can. His turn to glow a bit. Collecting myself, then, I go back to the original original question. “But, OK, my week.” As I collect myself. “Well, camps are all messed up this week.” The waitress arrives with my coffee, knowing I wanted one. “You would think they can call and let you know if something changes before the first day. But I worked it out. Thank god for that Chrissy next door.”

“Suzanne has the same problem. The folks that run these aren’t used to running things.”

And our conversation, finally, proceeded to ordinary things, the same kind of conversations we’ve always shared. But as he’s sitting there, I am noticing things a sister should not notice, the line of his jaw, those eyes, his mouth. What he tastes like. I feel myself growing warm, getting wet. Fuck, why does this happen now? His smell. My thoughts drifting to my words ‘I am there for you.’ All things you don’t think about your own brother. And I know, I want it again, to feel him in me again. To keep what we have. And as I am looking at him, bantering back and forth, joking, I can see it. I can tell he is horny, right now, without him saying anything. But then he’s a guy, so by definition he’s horny all the time. But it could be me.

Finally, a silent little pause, and we are smiling down at our silverware.

I am first, “I must say, Thursday surprised me.”

“Surprised me too.”

“I never, done anything like that before.” What are the words. “It’s been quite intense. The weekend on your boat, fishing with you was ….” I trailed off, feeling arousal. What would he say? Head down, glancing up, meeting his eyes.

He smiles, “Yeah, the fishing was pretty good.” Not what I wanted.

I drive home my point, “I mean, what happens to us now?” and shift a bit, not knowing how to continue.

Seeing my discomfort he says, “Look, Sara, I…” He sets down his napkin and sighs, “We’ll be fine. Fine. I’m still getting my head around it. Nothing will change. You’ll see.” His optimistic bravado.

And then he took my hand. I look at him with my hand in his and say, “It already has.” And he pulls his hand back.

I stare at my coffee. He doesn’t know what I am thinking, what I want, whether it will ever happen again.

He says, “What SHOULD we do? Stop? We can. What do you want me to say?”

I am silent.

“Look, Sara what you did. What you gave me. It was selfless, and I want to thank you. For everything. You are an angel.”

To that I laugh. HA! Tip my head to the side. Think that one through – a selfless angel. Twinkle my eyes at him. I selflessly fucked my brother, best sex in my life. So fucking aching sore, I can barely walk, and am sitting here thinking about his cock. I can think of a lot of things to call it, but neither selfless nor angel was on the list.

I let out a big breath, “Nicky.” And I say this as quiet as I can, “I – enjoyed – it. I enjoy it. YOU know I do. You KNOW. I was hardly, angelic.” I pause and meet his eyes as my cheeks burn now, “AND my offer remains.” My desire right then is so strong. “I am your sister and now your lover. I can meet those ‘needs’ you have you know. Lord knows you meet mine. I want to. God, I want to.” I am squeezing my thighs together.


My offer

There, I said it. What I wanted to say. That’s right, nothing had changed, I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to keep helping my brother.

His eyes gain recognition. “Sara, I just want you to know I’m fine, OK, I am. You don’t HAVE to do anything you don’t want to do. I can figure this out.” He takes my hand again. Holds my hand there in the restaurant, and for now I let him. Now Nick and I can be affectionate, but we cannot be overly so and I look around to see who is there as we have this moment. This is a small town and it is just hard for me to relax, to really say what I want, be what I want just then. The biggest risk would be for me to kiss him, which is something I really wanted to do just then. To run my fingers through his hair. To sit on the same side of the booth as him. So, after another beat, I let go. Even hand holding is a bit unusual for a brother and sister.

And I continue, “I mean, you still have those ‘needs.’ Right? Nothing has changed, has it? How is Suzanne now your back?

“She’s the same.”

“She notice you were, um, a bit more satisfied than normal after the weekend?”

“Not really, I mean, how could she suspect anything. I was the whole weekend with you.”

I touch my nose, “Touche.” I am momentarily mad at the little bitch. But….

He adds, “And Thursday went, OK. I mean up top.”

Our voices drop to bare whispers as I lean low over the table and begin, “Oh Yeah,” Followed by, “OH GOD.” shaking my head it all comes rushing back, so crazy, “We only broke like every rule I laid out for us. And you left me so fucking horny the whole rest of the meal, your lucky I didn’t jump your bones in the garage.”

“I came down to help.”

“Oh, you helped me all right! Oh, and note to self, next time you go in the kitchen to see how ‘your girls’ are doing, stand next to your wife.”

He blushed.

“Naw, it was fine. It was ….exactly what I needed.”

“You seemed pretty ready for me.” He gave a knowing grin.

I arch my brows, “You liked it fine.” I touch my nose. And I got quiet again. Half in reaction to my own thoughts I add, “We have to be careful Nicky. REAL careful about this. Not the kind of thing anyone understands. I don’t understand it.”

“You don’t have to do nothing for me, nothing you don’t want.”

“That is not what I mean. I CAN be there for you. Not real often, NOT in our houses. In fact, I have no fucking clue how I can. All I am saying is I can be.” The impossibility of it was depressing me.

So, we let it drop.

We said enough, and slipped back to a normal conversation. He explained the year was going to be real good for him, which also meant real busy. I knew what real good meant. He built houses, and the season begins in June. I work as a nurses aid, the helping profession (just came to me – HA) and summers were for some reason easier. But we each had k**s, and a spouse, and work. It seemed really, really unworkable. But our feelings on this needed to be shared, and we shared them. It was good.

On the way out, our vehicles were next to each other. We walk out to them, our time together was too short, I did NOT want to leave. My whole being, body and soul, wanted to run off and be with him all day.

He is standing there and asks, “So, How WOULD we do this?” Asking the obvious next question.

“I told you, I don’t know.” I stood with my arms crossed staring at the ground.

“So, our houses…”

“…Are out of the question.” And my minds going a million miles a minute just then, so many thoughts. And I blurt out, “How many times would we be talking about anyway, you know, if you were doing it as often as you’d like, you know, would you do it….if…if” My whole train of thought was breaking down, mainly because right then I’d love to be able to do it with him every day. I wanted him so bad, I ached.

I blush and feel silly. God I want it so bad.

He laughed. “You sound like my ther****t.”

I smiled and laughed back, “I am. You should be paying me!”

He says, “Well now, that WOULD just be wrong.”

I take his hand step a little closer, “Yeah, now that would be.” And we both look around very carefully, knowing what we are about to do. No one there and we, keeping our eyes open, lean in and kiss. He’s taller and bends down so sweet, I am turned up to him. His mouth, the same one I know; and I taste, let my tongue linger and taste and feel the thrill. I feel his hand close round my breast. The light fabric and the small bra hides nothing, there is a momentary shock, and a little allowance of his hand on my tit. But, already, this is too risky and I pull back, “Nicky!” immediately backing up and look at the pavement.

I ask again, “So? How many?’

“You serious?”

“Yes I am.” This is actually a serious question considering Dave likes to get it twice a week, I am really sort of freaked out about this idea of pleasing two men.

“Sara I went seven months without nothing. Before that, Suzanne and I were down to once a month or so.”

“Well, that’s not enough.” I am highly sexed and I shuddered at the thought of once a month. “What would be ideal?” My heart is patting away, and I am very aroused.

He laughs again, looking me up and down, “Right now. You don’t want to know.”

I like the compliment, feel genuinely desired. There is something about it. This hunger, this need. Somehow, the curtain is all pulled back, and the fact I am in a dress makes me go all wet inside. My body is so open and available in a dress. He has seen me naked, he has been inside me, tasted me, kissed me. It all is running through my mind with his eyes on me. Realizing how much of me he has seen.

Fuck. My cheeks are glowing, “We’ll think about it,” I say. “Don’t have to make any decisions today.”

I turn away and his hand finds my ass. I pause for him, stand there. God the pressure of his hands on me, sliding down the curve of my ass, and pressing his fingers right into the crack pushing the fabric between my legs. His fingers lingering low between my legs, so tantalizingly close.

I drop my head and groan, and lean back into his chest. I hear him say how fine a woman I am. How he does not deserve it, and recovering myself, turn to him. I got to be with him, but not here. He’s already gotten a kiss and grope, but this is too public. Too many risks for being in a parking lot, but god I was on cloud nine just then.


He whispers in my ear. “What you doing the rest of the day?”

I pause.

“I don’t know.” My words mew like a kitten. I know what he is going to say and feel my insides melt.

“There’s a hotel. It’s right up about a mile. I rented a room last night, thinking maybe.”

“Last night? What good is that?”

“It’s good till one o’clock TODAY.”

He looks at me, and I get it.


I freeze, looking into his eyes. Today, now, us together, a tryst, a fuck, oh so what I want! Our silent conversation complete, I nod my head.

“Get in your car and follow me.”

But here is the thing, the hormones kick in, it’s like alcohol. What can you do? You think you are being careful and you aren’t. But, damn, I look down at my dress, feeling him on me. I do enjoy his hands on me.

I am fucking following him to a hotel.


How it Goes

Inside the room, it is the first time WE have been together alone since our boat. Us. The feeling of freedom is hard to describe. I look around the unfamiliar room, wander along the wall, look in the bathroom. It is this little dive hotel, everything is shades of brown, no cars were in the parking.

And I walk back and fall into his arms, let him hold me for a long time. We kiss for the first time without a worry in the world, private, anonymous, it feels like forever. Time. Time.

“We are so bad,” I say.

“The only thing I could think of.”

“The night before! You knew!” I laugh as I give his arm a little mock punch, he is holding me again and his hands trail down over my butt. “The whole time. When were you going to tell me.”

“When I did.” I punch him again.

Four hours! I am most happy about so much time, and I want, want, want. Oh god.

His hands are rubbing over my butt, my sides and hips, moving the fabric of my dress up. I let him touch me here. Oh, so lovely to have his hands on me, so big and rough in the summer after he’s been working.

I move over to the sofa and sit down slowly. He follows and sits, I begin to play with his hair. I feel warm and hungry, watch his breath deepen as I stroke his cheek. We lean together and kiss, slow long deep kisses, he is rolling over the top of me, until I am flat on my back on the couch. He is laying between my legs and I can feel the weight of him, can feel is hard cock pressing at his pants wanting to get out.

I smile, “Feels nice.”

As we are kissing his hands wander. My dress becomes completely disheveled. Wander, wander, wander. He kisses my cheek looks at me. Says, “I want you.” As he says that I raise my arms up over my head. He lightly caresses my cheeks and says again, “I want you.” Draws a soft line around my lips and begins kissing my neck, I tip my chin up high and stretch. He says again, “You have no idea.”

I say, “I think I might. Keep doing that, and you might give ME ideas.”

I feel his hands on the buttons of my yellow summer dress. Today they form a line down my whole front. Eighteen buttons, I counted them. Undone, my dress folds wide open, just l’il ole me underneath. I have on the cutest little underthings, everything is perfect. He unbuttons five of the buttons and draws his hand down my white neck, and down the center of my chest. We fall silent. My hands are still over my head, and right now he can do anything to me. Five more buttons, lower, lower. I peek my eyes out and he is trailing a line of kisses down to my navel. I reach over and pull his T-shirt off over his head and feel the warmth of his skin.

He presses his hand over my belly, my womb. I let out a delicious moan, “Mmmmmmm. You know what I want, a massage.”

“What kind of massage?”

“Any kind you want to give me.”

My bra unclasps at the front and he unsnaps me, the cups open with a pop. My breasts are free and his tongue swirls around my nipples. Three more buttons undone and my panties are in view. I feel him suck me in, my nipples tightening. His teeth on me briefly.

He says soft, “You smell so good.”

His hands run over every inch of my front, every nook and cranny.

I watch him adjust himself. “You hard?” I eye him, stating the obvious. “Take those off.” Signalling to his jeans.

He stands and slides them down, and off come the briefs as well. He is standing naked, cock pointing straight up and I lift my foot and lay it over his cock, rub him with the ball of my foot. “Mmmmm. Hi. I feel a little something. . . Not so little.”

I rise and in my dress with five remaining buttons at the bottom, stand and take him by the tip of his cock and walk him to the bed like I am walking a puppy on a leash. He turns and follows along, my hand reaching back tugging at his cock.

He lays down on the bed, and I stand beside him and let my dress drop around my shoulders. The bra comes off and everything down around my ankles. All I have on are my little pair of cute panties. The tiniest little triangle, little bits of string around my hips. I can’t hardly stand it.

“What you wanted?” I say, and get on my knees onto the bed and lay down beside my brother. My brother, for some reason that pops in my head, and I remember who we are. The lights are low and we melt into one another, hidden away, here we can be lovers, who we want to be. Who we cannot be anywhere else. I lean in and press my breasts to his chest as we touch our mouths together and kiss and kiss and kiss. Slow, soft, touching our lips together, holding our mouths open. Touching the tips of our tongues. I open my legs and roll myself over his thigh, and begin to ride his thigh, dry humping, sliding my crotch over him. Feeling my cunny slide and working it up good, mmmm, feeling its heat and aching hunger.

I love the way he tastes, his wet mouth, his teeth on me. My hair is all fallen down around his shoulders as I ride his thigh, he is pushing it up hard between my legs, can feel my arousal and wetness dampening the crotch of my panties.

As I ride up a little higher his cock brushes my hip and smears a line of pre-cum on me. I coo, “You’re wet.”

He says, “So are you.”

Oh, god. I lay onto my back and hook my thumbs into my panties and slide them down. The wisps of blonde hairs, curly and soft. We are both naked, naked together now in this little room. All the windows drawn.

He reaches down between my legs, insinuates a finger and I moan at the sudden intrusion, open my legs nice and wide. He plays with my little fur patch, running a finger down the line, opening me up, as I lift one knee and let it swing open.

“God you are so wet.” I am beside myself with lust. This wanting, it just aches. “I been thinking about what you said.”


As he is touching me, caressing me, m*****ing me he says, “About that question you asked. How many times? I think it is three times a week, maybe four. How about that?”

I smiled, “We’re doing pretty good then. I think we got four times in the bag this week.”

I am thinking god has it been four times. More! It was once on Saturday, twice on Sunday, three if you count him eating me out on the boat while I was sunning myself, once on Thursday (wow), and today. Six. Oh, my body. Oh, my body. Yes, yes I can I am thinking.

Then I rolled over. “About that massage.”

He gave me the most beautiful back massage, slow and soft, and his big hands, god so good, all over my naked body. His hands running up and down my legs, my arms, between my legs. I was his little kitten soaking up every touch. We weren’t in a huge rush, it wasn’t the first time. It was us, together, lovers. I was helping him again, being there for him. Helping my brother. Such a good sister. Hmmmm.

“You are such a sensual lover. You must have been going crazy. Until I came along that is.” I looked back to catch his eye.

“You had no idea.”

I curled up under the covers and felt him follow, pressing himself to me. I snuggle up to him, “You know, I would never do anything like this with anyone else, its never dawned on me to have an affair. I’m always incredulous when I turn a guy on, I just don’t believe it so I don’t really even notice. It’s like I’m part of a magic show in Vegas. I do see it when I’m out, you know. There is temptation sometimes. I can touch and hold it but still don’t quite believe it, but when I see your eyes.” I hugged him tight. “Somehow you are easier to compartmentalize.”

“Thanks … I think. It’s not like I ever EVER in a million years believed we would be here like this.”

“You never once thought about me, ever?” I pouted.

“You’re my sister! I mean, I mean….” He was thinking what to say.

“Go ahead. Be honest. It’s OK.”

“I always thought you were pretty, attractive, yeah sexy. Seeing you in the house when you were, uh, less than dressed. Which you did a lot by the way. It did turn me on. Sure. But never act on it. But now….”

“So you thought I was sexy?” I was leaning toward him and then lay back flat. “You scare me you know that? But It’s the most pleasant kind of fear. Like when you’re in the air those seconds after diving in the pool, suspended. About to hit the water. But now, it’s like we have been like this forever. Like it has been a year! God I have wanted this. I mean like this, right now. Thursday was kind of weird, amazing, but weird. And you left me so fucking frustrated!”

“I could not help myself. Honestly, you were making me crazy.”

“Me!! I do love when you say that!” And we laid there reminiscing about each and every time. Each time so different. The first so wickedly hungry, the second happening in the middle of the night, my night demon. I told him that’s what I would call him. And the third, god, I wanted that. It was mine, all mine. His fuck toy, tittie fucking. Eating his cum. And the fourth, my poor baby. We decided that any encounter counted, so the tittie fuck counted and him eating me out on the deck of his boat. Sex with us was EVERYTHING. I told him his breath could make me cum. Thursday, which was just plain crazy, and I described as best I could what if felt like to be empty and then to suddenly be filled to the hilt with an enormous cock, my cunny stretched out tight. “From zero to ninety in one second flat!” I lay my hand over my puss, poor baby.
He asked again about places, places we might get together. He told me about wanting to sneak in the house and hide somewhere, down in the laundry room maybe. All the ways, how he wanted to come to the house and sneak me out to his truck. How we could sit somewhere and be normal, and all the while we are talking he’s playing with me, diddling me, drawing a line through my bush. He touches me as he says that and I am opening my legs to him, and tugging at his cock the whole time we are talking, his hands between my legs.

“Well you have me now, I am all yours here.”

I roll onto my back and he follows, laying his weight on me. Opening my legs wide, I look down between us, coming together. Feel the head of his cock nestle into my pussy lips and slip right inside, and throw my head back. Too delicious for words. I am lazy, lay back holding myself still, his ass rises and falls nice and slow. I curl my arms into my hair. His arms are down on each side of me, his legs are between mine, and I watch him ride. Feeling so stretched, and the ache of my overworked puss. I wrap my arms around his waist, slide my hands lower and cradle his ass, feeling him pump into me. So powerful, I love the way the muscles on his body feel.

His body rising and falling, and my puss is stretched and full, rising and falling. This liquid heat inside, up inside so far. I whimper, frightened. I said how I can compartmentalize this. My mind is a tumult. I have had sex seven times in the last seven days. Five with my brother. How do you know my body’s secrets? Like a d**g, he is altering my body. I feel him in me, feel the heat of his chest pressed to my breasts. He rests his forehead on mine.

He says, “I’ve got you. You are mine today.”

Our eyes glowing upon the other. I smile, hug him tight and he rests his cock full in to the hilt and holds himself there for a moment, right there. We are looking deep into each others eyes. I am trembling. Forever. Forever. I have a permanent mental image, will forever remember that moment. Frozen in time. A moment I want to never end and in my memory it never will. You are the body of my secrets. You live in the space behind my heart. You hide in my smile, you know the taste of my tongue. When you have sex with someone, the cells of your body knows them forever, it is unalterable. Our bodies are an album of everyone we have ever slept with. I look so deeply into his eyes, unending. We are altering even our eyes.

I am thinking, I want to shape your cock like water does clay, mold you to fit only-me from inside.

My pussy juices warm you, wet you, mold you. Spinning your cock on my wheel. We are altering ourselves, bending, moving. Body and soul, I am falling in Love. Secret Love. Hidden Love. Frightened, happy, Forever.

I want to harden your softness, and as you begin to rise and fall again you bump me lightly, then harder and harder. Over and over. My body open and revealed, as you fuck me, how I soften your fall. Oh, Nicky, the feel of you falling, I am the ground you are falling into. You are falling into me, and a part of you remains forever. Rooting into me, growing there. So I will help you, with this problem. This problem of no sex with your wife, protect you from affairs, and fighting, and stupid women who do not know you. Or women you would pay to fuck. Be safe with me my Nicky, forever.

I can’t hurt you. My heart won’t let me. So fall into me again again again. Being one is becoming harder than I think. Your cum in me, no protection. Seeding me. This whole week, so much cum in me. I could become pregnant. It would be us this time. one one one.

He is moving faster and I am gripping my legs, squeezing, leveraging myself against him. Pushing against the ridge of his cock as hard as I can. Riding, rubbing my clit right at the root, driving me wild, winding me like a clock. Amazed at how filled I am, the friction of his cock in my cunt is so perfect. So perfect. Forever.

How you fill me, the vibration of our wet flesh. I am panting, the whites of my eyes are showing, my heart fluttering, and I am vanishing into nothing. The electricity rises through my spine, such a pleasure, and so sensitive. Feeling everything. I’m chocolate, melting. Glass melting. My cunt tastes you. I know it does, it is a mouth. It remembers, melt me, taste ME. My little peach, my piece of fruit, ripe for you. Eat me, cum in me. I am moaning now. Grinding, digging in, taking it. I want it so bad.

“Oh baby, yes, that’s it, like that.” I have been cooing all these things, and he is whispering in my ear, things my brain barely hears. He loves my smell, my taste, he talks of my open legs, his cock. How tight I am. Smells and hair and flesh, words like cunt and puss and fuck. His little girl.

Let me live on your tongue, and we kiss. Pull me to you, lay me back, oh, yes, like that. I feel his heart beating in my breasts, in the depths of my tummy, in my mouth. His eyes glow like coals when he looks at me, take on the look of an a****l. His hunger, his mouth and teeth bare back, ready to bite. To chase and bring down, tearing me. To eat to taste.

Your heart beats in my mouth. It is all happening to you as well. I am burning you, branding you. You will be mine.


Was I jealous? Is that why I offered to help. The moment I heard, I thought of the other women who would come into his life. Other women who might come between us. Have I always wanted this? No, and then doubt.

Mine mine mine. He is moving faster, and I am grinding hard, bending, my mouth at his ear. “Oh Nicky, fuck me.” Need to concentrate now, I want to cum. I can feel it. My body is ready, oh so good. So close. So fucking good. “Oh baby, keep, I’m going to ….ah, ah ah. Ride me. Harder, yes. I’m going to, god yes, make me CUM.”

Lightning flashes through me, and I can’t stay still, bucking against him. Trembling. Pulling him in. My cunt this mouth that is taking it. He is pounding me. He is riding hard. cum cum cum. Oh fuck yes! He is pulling my hair back, bending me into a smile. It hurts so fucking good. Oh fuck yeah. I fucking love when he does that. Oh the heat as he pulls my hair. How hungry, how fucking hungry. God dammit. I love how he needs me. Take me. Fucking take me.

My body fucking explodes.

I whimper to no one, “Don’t ever go. God I am yours. Your fucking fuck toy!”

“Oh, little girl. Fuck. I have you, your legs are so open, fucking you. I’m ready, oh, yes…” He thrusts and tenses, “I’m cumming!” His rumbling growl, and he thrusts, drives into me and clings to me.

Oh baby, yes. Pulls me up like a rag doll. Give me everything. Take all of me! This wild ride of our bodies.

He holds, trembling, his voice so low. His rumbling chest. And still. A silence. We don’t breathe, our bodies unwinding, relaxing. We lay silent, unmoving, his head drops above my shoulder. I feel his weight. Cumming is so light, a spirit, the orgasm so like air. There is nothing. No substance to it. And then his weight, the first I notice. Death has taken us away, and our bodies return. To be resurrected, bodies again, my brain is moving. Soft. Clay.

A little bird is flitting outside our window. I can hear a car.

“Shit, Nicky, that felt good, fuck,” I finally say. We are soaked. Breathless.

I cling to him, his breath in my ear, and I kiss his shoulder wet with sweat. My mouth is open, I can barely control my limbs, am panting have to breath through my mouth. Our kisses are just open mouths touching together, smiling. He laughs.

He is still inside me, god he knows what to do. Rolls me to the side with him, still inside.

Smiles. Eyes burning, breath.

I feel him softening, pulling back. I am so full of his cum, I can feel it in me, running down my thigh.

I look at the clock, it is 11:30.



We rest, we briefly sleep. There is nothing more to say for a little while, bodies entwined, nothing more. The smell of us. Damp between my legs. The growing wet spot. The smell of our sex.

When my eyes open again, I am once again thinking of where we are. Of his nakedness, and mine. Who we are. Time.

We will get dressed, and drive off in different directions. Secret. And how it is not really what I want. But it is. It really is. Between these lines I am yours and you are mine. Somehow we are wired for this secret. A secret I can keep. It somehow makes us human. We all live with a wall behind our heart, I have to believe that, it somehow makes me feel less alone.

I look at his mouth, relaxed and still. Can feel it everywhere on my body. We must make peace. I can feel his breathing in my womb. I almost say out loud, ‘Everywhere else the rest of the world can have you. I know something they don’t. I know you beyond speech beyond touch. Hidden, I feel your heart beating every night.’

And then you stand from the bed and walk into the bathroom, naked and beautiful.

And then I want to say, ‘You are next to me now as close to me as my lonesomeness.’

My eyes are wet.

I am silent.

The End



I can tell Nicky is a lot happier than he was, and I hope it can stay this way. We are finding secret moments, spaces, places. I keep checking in, and he and Suzanne are now getting along better than before. The reason: I am helping, it is a fact, helping my brother, but dare I say it? I am now a bit jealous of her, and every time he tells me they are getting along my mind is worried. What would happen were they to become sexual again?

And then I wonder. I have nothing to back it up, but there have been a few times when it seems they have been sexual together. I know him now, his body, his smell. There are times. Would he actually tell me? And then I am like, it’s fine if he is, and then realizing it wouldn’t change anything. Not anymore.

The fire is started, and these coals don’t die.

I know he feels guilt over what we do. He is always thanking me, and ‘checking in’ telling me I can stop. Which I appreciate, but don’t. I need him now as much as he needs me. The best sex of my life. And, with him I feel like my sex life is in balance, HA! I don’t feel like I always want it anymore and for the first time in my life I actually have moments where it is like, what? Sex, really, again?

Nick is always trying to do it in our houses. Sometimes I have let him. And figuring out how to have each other in our houses continues to cross my mind, makes things easier, but more than that somehow makes the sex so crazy hot. We have figured out how to use some of the houses he is building. So bad.

I have kept one rule. Our bedrooms are out. I just can’t do that. Though Nicky, ha, he’d be OK with it.

So, this is the crazy life, when I help my brother:

Walking toward his truck feeling happy, smiling, and naughty all at the same time. His ‘sister’ feeling all these things. Or being out in the backyard, everyone together and leaning close and whispering “I just need you to know how I want you.” And stepping away, watching the look on his face.

His hand up my dress as I mix the salad in the kitchen when no one is there.

Intimacy is complicated, and is this bad? Is it cheating? I am helping my brother, and this is a case where it has had positive effects. Suzanne’s withdrawal of intimate relations hurt Nick deeply, and I remember. His anger and resentment, how wound up. The pain of it. Not feeling he was a man. It would have destroyed his family. He was wounded and depressed.

And Now?

Everyone gets along, it is what it is.

Close calls. Hells bells. We had one lustful moment in the hallway, and we vowed never to do that again. His back was to the living room, and my hand was in his pants. Both Dave and Suzanne walking down the hall toward us. Nothing seen, but oh god!

It is what it is.

(And we do have that hunting trip now in the plans this September)

One week of happy hunting;)


something about the way
my hand slides
along the smooth curve between
her ribs and her hips
and settles along her waist
and curves around to the small of
her back
to pull her closer
something about the way
our lips meet
and pull away
and electricity pulses
and our eyes connect
to share a million secrets
and hands become entangled in hair
and bodies fit against one another
like pieces of a puzzle

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